Saturday, September 27, 2008

♫ Caption Contest ♫

Ok, dear readers. An ephemeral prize to whomever posts the best caption to this photograph.


Here's mine: "♪ This menu is diviiiiiiiiiiiiiine ♫"


For clarification, they are at Barbecue Street in Kennesaw, Georgia.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Religion and Politics (Shouldn't Mix)

Far too often, religious people seek to impose their beliefs on the populace at large. If that's what society wants, so be it, but I don't like it. I don't want my goverment governed by a majority religion (even if it's my own). However, I can think of precious few instances in world history when an entire society saw eye-to-eye on religious matters. Whether's it's Hindus in India being scandalized by Richard Gere's cheek kiss of a woman, Baptists freaking out about DisneyWorld having a gay day, or Muslims saying you can't wear your hair in a spike style, religious hegemony by way of force or demand or mob rule, is contradictory to the tenets of their own religious teachings; yes, even the Koran says it's better to persuade people to do good than to obligate them. Jesus never said, "Obey my commandments or burn in hell," (though John kinda did). He did say, on the beach, to Peter, while enjoying some fish and honeycomb, "if you love me, keep my commandments."

If you love Him, keep His commandments. That's a good rule. One that most people can parrot back to you, but very few can live. A true person of faith, doesn't seek to impose their own faith on someone else via the long arm of the law. I can --not-- like the fact that pornography and vice pervade our culture. It makes me wish that people would choose better things for themselves and for their families. But if I try and compel them, isn't that limiting their agency on spiritual choices by secular means?

There are only two paths to achieving 100% obedience to the commandments. 1) you can obligate people to obey, taking away their rights and free will, and 2) you can show them by example, by love unfeigned, how much better life can be. The first plan belongs to Beelzebub; the second to God. He is the Father of everyone, Hindus, Muslims, Atheists, Christians, Jews, Agnostics. We are all brothers and sisters. Loving God, and choosing to do his will, is the only thing we can do to show our obedience. It has to come from within. Making someone get a certain haircut, trying to burn Harry Potter books, hell, especially telling someone that they're going to hell for believing a certain way, places one squarely in the gall of bitterness and pride.

Who told you what God wanted someone else to do? The Holy Ghost could certainly tell you something that YOU should do; Jesus specifically warns us to avoid the mote in our brothers eye whilst ignoring the beam in our own. I hold very strict and specific beliefs about what constitute right living. I hate that most people ignore the commandments. I wish they would obey them. But, I know they won't, and me complaining about it and trying to take away their free will by criminalizing certain actions, is wrong.

We could all learn a thing or two from Jesus; most people need to read up a little. Christians would do well to read the teachings of Jesus Christ for what they say, and not what others have told them they say. Jesus' message was one of love and patience and understanding. I hope to understand his message better before I meet him.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

MadTV vs SNL



vs.




MadTV wins in my book. Comparing the two shows now, it's no contest; MadTV is superior. I rarely laugh when watching SNL anymore, even with Tina Fey no longer on it. I laugh constantly watching MadTV, especially when Nicole Parker does her impersonations (with all respect to the master, Darrell Hammond).

Friday, September 19, 2008

On Why My Sister and I Have Kick-Ass Names

PLEASE NOTE: Apparently, I have failed miserably to write a post after the style of The Onion. My readers have not appreciated the humor in what I was saying, so I'm adding this header as a clarification....this post is meant as a self-depricating joke. My name is Mac; I like my name, but I am in no position to cast asperions on others' names. This was an attempt at humor; I figured the "kick ass" in the title would be clue enough. My apologies to all I offended.

As I sat in my daughter's classroom today for a parent-teacher conference and looked down the list of names on the sign-in sheet I was struck by how awful some people's names are. America has gone mad for alternate spellings, last names as first names, egregious use of apostrophes, and just plain making shit up.

I know, I know, some people will counter that my children have "odd" names. I riposte that they are all centuries old names, and that they all predate the founding of our country.

Marley = old form of Marlene (even though she is named after Robert Nesta)
Xiomara = from the Celtic, via Castillian Spanish "Guiomara >>>>> Xiomara"
John = Jesus' favorite
McLarty = my paternal great-grandmother's maiden name
Calliope = Greek muse of epic war poetry
Marisol = María de la Soledad

I've tried to get Mickelle to consider Danish names given her Fonnesbeck Danish heritage, like Travis and Erin did by using the Danish equivalent of "Ralph" for their son Brecken. But, she won't even discuss it.

So, having disarmed my critics, let me say that naming your kid something made-up like Nqueedah, Tielar, Spensyr, D'art'alan, Zavyionnne (yes, that's three n's), Leee, I could go on, is unnecessary. I am a Luddite of nymic invention. We have thousands of perfectly good names. Rather than naming your kid something they have no chance of ever finding on a premade keychain, why not name them after someone......something they can relate to, something that will inspire them. I admit, that being named John makes me happy wheneve I read that Jesus named him Boanerges, or "Son of Thunder." I share this legacy via my name.

But, we have several naming conventions in our larger American culture. The pattern for WASPs is to either give them some Anglo-Saxon last name as a first name: Carter, Dalton, Jackson. Still more common, and more boring, is a assembly-line consanant game with combination of vocal couplings.........take any sound like "ay" or -ly and then change the initial consonant:

Bailey
Cailey
Haylee
Jaylee
Kaylee
Mayli
Naylee
Raelee
Saylee
Taylee
Vaylee

You see the pattern here, even without consonant clusters, the possible names are endless, and endlessly boring. There was a time from about 1999-2005, when if we knew someone from Utah had had a baby, I'd ask, "did you name it Taylor or Tyler?"

So, my own name......John McLarty Williams III. My Dad was Jr. His dad is Sr. In the family, Papa is "Mac." My dad was Johnny Mac, and I'm, get this, "Little Mac." My cousins' kids still call me Little Mac. Anyway, I've never been called, nor gone by, John in my life, save the first day of school every year. Mac sets me apart. It is an old name. There are a million Matts, Bobs, Mikes, Scotts, Jasons, Kevins, and Joshs. We Macs are a precious few, and people remember my name. It provides me with character and panache. My parents could've named me Jason or Steve or Jedidiah, but I got Mac, it's a kick-ass name, and I love my name.

Now, the disinterested lector will try and lamely counter that I have contradicted myself. I have not, dear reader. My name is a real name, an ancient one. It's not spelled Maq or Maack or some other crazy way. There are three spellings: Mc, Mac, and Mack. Johnny Mac and Laura chose the middle one for me.

Even better than my own name (and I realize that most people love their own names) is that of my sister. Her name, Susanna Marie Williams, is classic. It's got that Southerness that can't be invented. Susanna is Biblical and belonged to my paternal grandmother's mother. It's both an old family name AND that of a Bible heroine. While my sister's name has always had my favor, as I looked at this picture of her today, I realized just how great a name it is. No one names their kid Susanna....Suzanne, sure, but not Susanna. Susanna Marie, just say it.....Susanna Marie. It rolls off the tongue. Look at this photograph and try and give her any other name. It won't do, no matter what it is.

With all of this said and done, it's totally asinine to make fun of other people's names; it's rude; it's juvenile; it's pedantic. And yet, I can't help myself, even as I think that all names are equal when they're yours (save maybe, these). I guess mine and Susanna's are more equal than others.

UPDATE 9-21-08: Some people have failed to see the comedy and point of this post. Please read the comments for clarification.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I Got Tagged

Apparently my blogging daughter has tagged me.....so here goes.

Name and meaning: John McLarty Williams III, "Mac." John is Hebrew for "God is gracious." McLarty is Scottish for "Son of Larty." Williams means "Son of William," and I'm the third because my dad was Junior and my grandpa is Senior. So, my name is God is Gracious Son of Larty Son of William the Third. It sounds like Lord of the Rings names: Gimli son of Gloim.

Age: I am thirty-four at the time of writing.

Nicknames: Mac, Little Mac, Big Mac, Macaroni, Makakerel, Macoco, Maxipad, Mack Truck, Cookie, Macamillion, Macker Quacker, Mackster, Daddy Mac, Mac Daddy, the Daddy of the Mac Daddy, Mac Tonight, Willi (in Spanish), Crackhead, Raincheck, Relish Neck, Fire Butt (evidently I'm warm), and RebelScum.

Favorite Activities: Reading, Movies, Family, Scrounging, Watching Baseball, Blogging, Hanging out with friends, traveling.

Favorite Foods: Sushi, Korean, Southern-American, real Mexican, pizza, Creole, Cajun, Marabou chocolate, kimchi, bee bim bap, grasshopper brains, pretzel salad.

Least-favorite food: Canned or processed tuna, carrots--especially cooked carrots, liver, Necco wafers, chocolate ice cream, white or black jelly beans, butter pecan ice cream, Jello with fruit in it, mondongo.

Favorite Music: The Beatles, the Eagles, Bob Marley, Weezer, CCR, Maná, Collective Soul, Jack Johnson, Sublime, 311, the White Stripes, the Strokes, Tom Petty, Fleetwood Mac (when Peter Green was lead singer), the Killers, Fastball, Johnny Cash, the Refreshments, bluegrass, Eros Ramazotti, Trombone Shorty, New Orleans jazz, the Hives, Rage Against the Machine, and Smashing Pumpkins.

Favorite toys: Star Wars, G.I. Joe, Axis and Allies....man, toys, it's been so long.

Favorite book: The Satanic Verses (English), Don Quijote de la Mancha (Spanish)

Favorite item of clothing: I rock (yes, I said "rock) shorts and a guayabera every day; I'd wear it to church if the old folks wouldn't stare.

What makes me happy: Being with Mickelle, spending time with the kids, lolcats, reading, watching someone hit a homerun, The Soup, seeing a student's eyes fill with confidence when they say something right in Spanish, teaching, fuel efficiency, good customer service, a woman who smiles, clever lyrics, when meetings I don't want to go to get canceled, nooners, when friends come to visit, selling something for more money than I paid for it, getting a deal on something, planning study abroad trips, speaking Portuguese, really ugly neckties, being called "Doctor," when I get junkmail addressed to Mr. John J. Gingleheimerschmidt, good news.

What makes me sad: eBay management, intolerance, bigotry, Mormons who are prejudiced, death, suffering, stressing about money, social injustice, my powerlessness before the machine, the United Nations, canceled flights, hurricanes, anniversaries of bad days, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, gout attacks, when people speak in ignorance about my faith, fat jokes from the mouths of adults, low salaries, territorial pissing contests, poor scholarship, that I have only one life to give for my country, bad news.

Now I tag: Tim, Mickelle, Chattypatra, and Pablo Hecho (they all hate these kinds of things).

I Love This Commercial

Circa 1999



Since this commercial came out, one of Mickelle's pet names for me has been "Raincheck."

RIP Norman Whitfield (1943-2008)

It is with great sadness that I relate the death of another creative genius, Norman Whitfield, Motown songwriter. The Temptations version of his "Just My Imagination" will forever take me back to nights working at Pizza Hut on Canyon Road in Provo, Utah. When we closed in the Summer after doing EFY nights, the volume of dishes to wash, cash to count, and stuff to clean was a lot. The stress of processing all those order for EFY was great, and we often found that the normal rock and roll didn't make us feel better as we cleaned. This song and the soundtrack to Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? were our favorites, gently calming us as we thought nice stress-free thoughts. The gentle melody, the romantic lyrics, the quality of the voices, it's all there. Great song, great band, great singers.

One of my favorite bands of all time, right up there with the Beatles, the Eagles, and Bob Marley & the Wailers is Creedence Clearwater Revival. And, my favorite song by CCR is "Heard It Through the Grapevine," which is another Whitfield tune (made famous by Marvin Gaye and then Gladys Knight & the Pips). CCR took it to its perfection in an eight-minute jam that I love to listen to while I write; it's right up there with "Fortunate Son."

If you're unfamiliar with this master's work, check out the bottom of his wikipedia page. He wrote at least ten songs that I can sing from memory. While he hasn't had a hit since I was a toddler, I bow to his songwriting prowess and the good memories his tunes bring to mind.

Missing My "Damned Pater Familias"


I've been listening to http://www.pandora.com/ for a couple of weeks now and thinking how awesome it is.

Just now, I thought, "You should email Dad and have him check it out; he'll love it," before I realized that he's dead and some of his ashes are in a lucite iPod box (inside a baggie) waiting for me to dump him in Apalachicola Bay, Florida next month.

Son of a bitch! I miss my dad. And he would've totally loved Pandora. His channel of choice you might ask? Jimi Hendrix, 365.25 days a year.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pakistan Is No Ally

Go read this first:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122157191948543051.html

Now, let me just say that I am greatly simplifying things for the purposes of this post. This is no treatise on American-Pakistani relations; I don't have time to write that right now, but I wanted to express my frustration and dismay over the situation. Furthermore, let me add that I am a social & fiscal moderate and a conservative on most foreign-policy issues (save the Iraq mess). We have room for diplomacy when bullets aren't flying, but when someone is abetting your enemy, will not act on their own to expel the enemy, and threatens to attack you for prosecuting your campaign, eventually diplomacy is no longer viable, and action must be taken.

I understand that Pakistan is yet another of these lame Old World countries so riven by ethnic differences that it doesn't want to be Pakistan. And if you plan to counter that it's a symptom of colonialism, I maintain that the phenomenon is not limited just to former colonies (e.g. Belgium). The difficulty in maintaining central power over people who care nothing for Pakistan is that you are powerless to respond to your "allies'" security concerns without starting a civil war.

Pakistan's recent assertion that it will fire on American troops in its country surely seems justified in their eyes, but Osama bin Laden or at least the Taliban leadership IS in Waziristan. There's little doubt about that, and they are our true enemies. Pakistan is simply the current hiding place of the Taliban and Al Qaeda, much like Afghanistan was until we swatted them. The differences between Pakistan and Afghanistan, aside from the superficial, are important. One, Pakistan has fought several wars with India over the disputed Kashmir region and various other post-colonial pissing contest nonsense. This wouldn't be that big a deal, but India's strategic (as a front against Chinese expansion/aggresion in South Asia) and economic importance to the world means that we have to act thinking about how our actions impact India (which impacts us). Two, if we piss off Pakistan, they have nuclear weapons. If a crisis with India were to come to a head, who could know which of the two might use the nukes on the other? It's not worth the risk. A third somewhat unrelated issue with Pakistan is the potential wave of negativity that could erupt from a flawed sense of Nationalism (even though the radicals don't want to be part of Pakistan, unless it's a religious state), breeding even more people who hate the United States enough to attack it and its interests.

So, given that the Taliban and Al Qaeda can still cause havok from Pakistan without fear of counter-attack, what can we do? Pakistan says that they will shoot back. They don't really want a war with us. I say that if Pakistan is harboring Taliban (harboring, even by omission/inaction), and they want to risk it, let them shoot at us and see what happens. We cannot continue fighting a war in Afghanistan with one hand tied behind our backs. If Pakistan fires at us, strip them of all the federal aid that they receive and essentially spend to arm themselves against their own populace.

An ally doesn't give aid, abettal, succor, arms, and tacit approval to your enemy. Pakistan needs to choose sides, and suffer the consequences of whichever one they choose. They've been playing both for far too long. If they don't want to help us, fine, but if they shoot at us, I say stand back. We will never end this war unless we are decisive now. The enemy is the Taliban. The Taliban is in Pakistan, openly. If Pakistan's government doesn't help, they too are the enemy.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Straw Men



I really thought McCain was above this kind of attack. The "sex education" involved age-appropriate lessons so that little kids would know that adults touching them in certain places wasn't okay, it wasn't penis-goes-where? type stuff.



Obama strikes back, but again, it's dirty. If McCain votes "with Bush 90% of the time" the viewer is left to assume that Obama votes against Bush 90% of the time, when that clearly cannot be the case, otherwise they would make loud notice of it. I'd like to know what the actual Obama voting with Bush stats are, before I beleived the 90% as a hanging-offense.

If You'd Like to Go to Costa Rica Next May with Me As Your Tour Guide

Check out:

http://courses.coker.edu/jwilliams/cr

Anyone can go, whether a Coker student or not.

Friday, September 12, 2008

How a Devout Mormon Can Vote for a Pro-Choice Candidate

So, several hardline Mormon friends have been sometimes not-so-politely questioning how I can vote for Barack Obama given his stance as being Pro-Choice. I'll try and explain this in a language that everyone can understand, so that there is precious little room for doubt.

First, let me say that I think abortion is wrong, sinfully wrong. It is a selfish act that probably kills a fetus with feelings (I'm not sure when life begins, nor has my church clarified its position on when life begins). There are so many people out there who would like to adopt, and abortion slaughters the hopes of these countless couples. I would definitely actively try and encourage anyone I knew to not have an abortion, and to look at adoption alternatives. If I knew someone who had an abortion, I would never give any sort of approval (not that they would be looking for it necessarily), aid them financially in having one, or be okay with it. I hold it as greivous a sin as adultery. This (abortion or adultery) would probably end any friendship I had with them until they repented, probably (I know I used it twice).

Second, I think abortion in the case of rape or incest should be legal. I think that if the mother's life is in jeopardy, it should definitely be legal. If I have to choose between an unborn infant and my wife, the child dies--every time.

Third, I believe that our Nation was founded, firmly, upon a separation of Church and State. While the religious practices of the populous have changed over the course of 232 years, the government has remained secular. This is a good thing. No one religion should dominate, a lesson that Mormons should know well after their persecutions in New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois. We actually fled the United States for what was then Mexico when we settled Utah in 1847. When religious discrimination is allowed to affect the law, then it leads to civil rights violations.

Since I hold firmly that the government should not have an official religion, and that the 1st Amendment holds that we have freedom of religion, this means that people can believe or not believe whatever they want. Right now, a Christian, or at-least a Christian-enculturated majority has the cultural say in what constitutes acceptable behavior in society. Our laws protect us from the fear of religious prosecution in a legal setting. Criminal codes exist to protect people's rights. Even though many of us view certain sins as criminal, the law and its interpreters do not always agree, based on our Constitution. Therefore, for example, even though I think pre-marital sex is a sin, the law would view this as consensual, and therefore, not criminal. Even though I don't want people having pre-marital sex, using the legal system to punish people for a spiritual flaw is not what our Constitution is about. Obedience should be done of volition, not of fear of temporal consequences. You can't use the law to push a religious agenda, in spite of the consequences...that is unless you want your religion to dominate, because what would happen if suddenly through immigration or massive conversion, a religion that you did not agree with were to become the majority in this country? Would you then want that religion's beliefs dictating what you could and could not do? No, of course not. These protections of and from religion are one of the reasons that America is great.

Fourth, so with an understanding of my position on Church and State, I cannot force my religious beliefs on someone else. Stecher may counter that this transcends mere issues of religion, that it constitutes a humanitarian issue, that we are murdering people. I cannot buy that; his (and my) religion color our perspectives. People don't believe what I do. I find comparisons of abortion with slavery troubling. While both are heinous, slavery will forevermore be the worse of the two. I would venture that the death toll from abortions in the U.S. since its founding are less than one year's toll from the Middle Passage trade. And there are so many other issues. Why get so indignant over abortion and yet not mind going to war and the death penalty (I am in favor of the death penalty, for the record)? I just don't get that worked up over the issue to give myself tunnel vision that it's the only one that matters.

Fifth, while you can certainly argue that abortion is the most important issue in this election, it is not the only one. I will not base my election decision off this one stance. I don't feel it's important enough. Yes, I have children, and again, I state that I hate abortion and I wish people wouldn't do it, but it isn't the only thing informing (that's for you, Norman baby) my vote. Our nation needs leaders who consider all options of an issue, leaders who don't make snap-decisions based on gut reactions. The greater the issue, the more time should be spent in contemplation of the repercussions and consequences of an action. Having studied the positions of both sides, and finding things that I liked and disliked about both platforms, I feel that Obama more closely represents the ideas I think our country (notice I didn't say, "I") needs. To let McCain/Palin have power to continue certain programs and projects, and try and legislate certain things, including the Right's morality (which I share), is something that I cannot stomach.

Sixth, I think rather than fighting and name calling, both sides should work together to try and reduce the total number of abortions.

Seventh, whether or not abortions are illegal, people will still have them. People are selfish. Their lust leads them to create children that they don't want (Certainly many wives have children that they didn't want, but that their husbands unrighteously forced them to have). For people who don't want children because they don't "have time" and "don't want kids" or "can't stand the disruption," I have no sympathy; someone raised you. Given that abortions will always happen, I don't want people dying from back-alley medical procedures.

Eighth, from a religious perspective, would you rather have someone die having an illegal abortion, and die in their sins, or have them live, and possibly feel contrite and repent some day?

Ninth, I am opposed to abortion, but I don't think my opposition stems from something other than my religious beliefs, therefore, I cannot hold that it should be illegal. I don't want any religion, even my own, shaping the laws of all three-hundred million Americans.

Proof Positive Why Sarah Palin Should NOT Be President, Vice President, or a Policy Maker of Any Kind

Read this first:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/11/palin.abc/index.html

We have been antagonizing Russia by including former Soviet Republics in NATO, placing missle defense systems in Soviet Bloc Nations as putative defenses against "Middle Eastern" nuclear missles, and being very hypocritical in our take of their treatment of Chechnya (while ignoring our own closeby invasions). Vladimir Putin saw through our ruse, knowing full well that that missle shield is our effort to shore-up our missle defences against a growing Russian prosperity and the cockiness money gives to pseudo-despots like Putin. In a brilliant move, designed to make us show our cards, he offered to let us build the missle shield against these supposed Iranian or North Korean warheads in Russia.....of course, we found a reason not to do so, even though a Russian site would've been strategically better (arguably).

Palin seems to ignore any concept of Russian concerns and fears about Western influence building in their periphery, much the same way we might if Russia and Mexico signed a mutual-defense treaty or something similar to the idea....Mexico isn't important, it being in our historical sphere of influence is.

Economic sanctions are like trying to cut down a tree with dental floss...you might scar the bark, but nothing will happen. When have sanctions ever worked? Since Russia supplies the bulk of oil and natural gas to most of Europe, how does Palin think our NATO allies would react to sanctions against their energy supplier? Would they be on board and risk their economies and the prospect of their people freezing to death (in some countries) over Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Georgia, or some other miniscule place? These same NATO allies didn't flinch to help Rwanda or Sudan out of their genocide (All NATO members are signers and ratifiers of the Genocide Convention, yet none acted in Rwanda until after the slaughter had abated). I see a clear lack of understanding of the issues in Gov. Palin's speech and rhetoric. She reminds me of the football players at my high school in suburban Atlanta in the 1980's. If someone did something they didn't like, they would shove them, place both of their hands near their waist and making a "come hither" gesture to the person, they would utter in a classic Cherokee County drawl (that few have anymore), "Come on, faggot!" Isn't this what Palin's doing?

She says that we should include Georgia in NATO, and then go to war if Russia invades. Ma'am, they're already there. Should we include them ex post facto and hit Russia with a pre-emptive strike? Have we not invaded Iraq unjustly? Could not Russia propose or impose sanctions against us and the "Coalition."

I don't want this or any small-town mayor with only two years of governor experience in a backwater state like Alaska to be the potential executive of our foreign policy. It beggars description how someone so lacking in experience is suddenly spewing out neo-conservative war-hawk rhetoric about things that she obviously doesn't want to understand.

I mean, please, she didn't even know what the vice president did in this recent interview! Start watching at 2:40.



One thing is certain, with her 19-year-old son about to ship off to Iraq, he should be reassigned to a non-combat zone now, for his safety against militants trying to kidnap him, and for the safety of his unit members. Would you want to have him next to you on patrol?

For the record, I'm not saying that we should pussyfoot around Russia, I just think a little decorum and detente instead of this reckless brinkmanship could do wonders for our relationship with the Bear, because, we started this fight by insisting on expanding NATO when Russia was weak....why wouldn't they doubt our motives?

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

What I Want for My Birthday (HINT HINT): Axis & Allies Anniversary Edition


I am salivating over Avalon Hill's anniversary edition of the classic boardgame Axis & Allies:

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=ah/prod/axisanniv

If anyone who loves me wants to get me something I will cherish until I give up the ghost, this would be a great gift (hint, hint, Mom). I will change my will to leave it to whomever grants me this boon; don't think I'm kidding.

Easy and Affordable Emergency Food Supply Option

Costco is offering a heck of a deal on an emergency food supply:

No matter where you live, a natural disaster could strike, and this portable and nutritious food supply could make things very comfortable for you for an extended time. Also, given its long shelf life, if you were ever out of work for an extended period of time, these meals could help you lower your grocery bill should you need to cut back on expenses. And if the world goes to hell, well, there's always this to snack on (NO, I'm NOT MILLENIAL!).
For the record, I own stock in Costco.

Monday, September 08, 2008

My Unattractive Ancestors


How cool is this?! My mom sent me an email today with a photograph of some of my great-great-great grandparents (tatara-tatara-tatara-abuelos). Maybe they were good looking when they were younger....he does have my nose. I have ancestors named Nimrod and Nineveh!

Merrill Nimrod Kilpatrick m. Nancy Jones Scoggins

Mary Catherine Kilpatrick m. Joel Elbert Cole
Laura Loduski Cole m. John Agleston Buckner
Raymond Vines Buckner m. Mattie Mozelle Carter
Laura Ellen Buckner m. John McLarty Williams, Jr.
John McLarty Williams, III (Mac) m. Mickelle Fonnesbeck
John McLarty Williams, IV (Jack)

Friday, September 05, 2008

Why Photos Should No Longer Be Trusted

The middle is the work of an especially adroit photoshopper. I'm sure many people thought these photos were real (I did on the bikini gun one for a sec).




Obrigado a Idelber pela foto.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Might Be Headed for Atlanta This Weekend

DYNAMICALTRACK MODELS HAVE SHIFTED A LITTLE TO THE WEST AND THE NEW OFFICIALFORECAST FOLLOWS SUIT. ON THE FORECAST TRACK...HANNA IS EXPECTED TOAPPROACH THE EAST COAST OF FLORIDA... GEORGIA...OR SOUTH CAROLINAIN 2 TO 3 DAYS. IT SHOULD BE STRESSED THAT THE EXPECTED ANGLE OFAPPROACH AND TRACK UNCERTAINTY MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO NARROW DOWNTHE POTENTIAL IMPACT AREA. INTERESTS IN THE NORTHWESTERN BAHAMASAND ALONG THE ENTIRE SOUTHEASTERN UNITED STATES COAST SHOULDCLOSELY MONITOR THE PROGRESS OF THIS SYSTEM.

You're damned right I'm monitoring this system. I've got 50+ trees on the property including some 125+ year pines.....I'm not staying in my house for anything over 35 mph.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Recent Photos of My Babes







Next Week's Weather

Palin's Daughter is Knocked Up/Pride Cometh After Her Fall

Ahhhh, can you imagine the pressure this young woman is feeling right now?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/01/palin.daughter/index.html

She has just had the entire WORLD know that she is pregnant, out of wedlock, to socially-conservative, albethey* non-denominational Christians. She made a mistake, got pregnant, her mom got nominated for the vice-presidency, and now the product of her sweaty lust is global headlines. I feel for her, I really do.

What I can't stand are two things:

#1 Why in the hell this didn't get announced prior and along with the nomination? It weakens credibility, etc. (I'm voting for Obama, but I think full disclosure of something like this is still respectful of the electorate).

#2 Why, oh why, is she marrying the guy? Why is the child not being given up for adoption? I would venture that it has everything to do with mom's politicking. This is the 19th Century, or even the 1950's. There are many, many, loving couples who would adopt. Rather, we're going to saddle a girl to the first boy she layed (presumably), and the child into a loveless marriage (I'm supposing); Mac's Daily Miscellany hereby goes on record that this marriage will not see 2018. Now, these are major stereotypes, but children who have children make everyone better off when they (not the parents) are presented with the adoption option and choose it. I have three children of my own, so I can fathom making the altruistic decision to give one up for adoption if it were in the best interest of the child. Money won't be a problem for the girl, but she is now going to suffer from the retarding weight of a child; college will be harder, work will be harder, her youth will disappear as she devotes herself to raising a child that I would wager she didn't want--but will still love.

Her parents assertion that they are "proud" of her decision to keep the baby, and "proud" to be grandparents is so f***ing ridiculous, I can't stand it. Pride is a sin (so is swearing; lay off me). "Happy" certainly, but pride gets wrapped up in so many thing, so many negatives that I can't stomach anyone mentioning how proud they are of someone else's egregiously poor decisions, especially politicians; especially people within a heartbeat (as we keep hearing from the media) of the presidency. It's that same ole petit-bourgeois attitude that sickens me. The people whose net-worth is more than $500k, but less than $3million are the worst. We had a man speak in our ward (church) yesterday. He drove a Cadillac; his suit was impeccable; he is a well-known business owner. He gave a lesson on priesthood keys, took out his keychain to illustrate a point, and noting the paucity of keys on his ring, said, "I don't own very much." Ahhh, the old "I'm poor," from people of substantial means.

This never ceases to amaze/bug me. The petit-bourgeois always call themselves poor or claim they don't have much. I'm no Marxist, but the precarios in Barrio Mexico and Leon XIII were filled with people who could claim truly to not "own much."

I feel bad for Miss Palin. Her mom is embarrassing the hell out of her on a global scale.



*I know this isn't a word

Phew! so far

Not as bad when you actually see it

VIDEO: Water laps over Industrial Canal

Comic Relief

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/01/people.sean.combs.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Sad thing is, he's serious.

Not Good, But Not Devastating......HOLD!

HOLD, DAMNED YOU, HOLD!


Industrial Canal floodwall being topped.

Seriously, Folks, Did We Learn Nothing Last Time?

http://www.nola.com/hurricane/index.ssf/2008/09/hold_please.html