Saturday, March 15, 2008

Praise for the Veterans of Foreign Wars

So, VFW Post #5483 Mars Hill honored my grandfather today at his funeral. As a retired non-commissioned officer, he was entitled to full honors, including the playing of taps by a bugler and a 21-gun salute. The three seven-gun volleys brought us all to tears. The presentation of the flag to my mother "on behalf of a grateful nation" brought tears to my eyes. If you are a veteran, I suggest you consider asking to have military honors at your funeral; they lend a feeling of respect and reverence that I've not experienced in other ceremonies.

My grandfather is finally buried. The funeral home "only" charged my mom $9,000 for their services...the mongrels. He already owned his plot...can you imagine? Death is too expensive; cremate me....please, cremate me and scatter my ashes wherever, maybe in my yard; I really don't care.

Although I will probably outlive anyone reading this blogpost, in case Fortuna has other plans for me, be it known that:

I want to be cremated.
I do not want a viewing.
I want a funeral held AFTER any ash scattering ceremony.
My wake is informal clothing only, no one with a suit should be admitted.
Within a year of my death, I would like a gigantic bonfire where everyone sits around drinking Coca-Colas and trying to remember funny stories about me.
If I can't be cremated, bury me within 25 miles of where I die.
I don't want to be embalmed unless the law specifically says I have to be.
Instead of flowers, please send donations to whichever scholarship I mention in my will.
If I am brain dead, pull the damned plug!

1 comment:

chattypatra said...

Since I am the one who had to pull the damn plug on my mother, I can tell you from experience that it feels like you'd rather someone kill you on the spot. Therefore, please make sure you have the proper legal documents ready, but add a letter of comfort for your wife or whoever has the responsibility. I don't care what anybody says, it feels awful, even if you know you are complying with someone's will; because when you love someone that much, letting go is heartwrenching. Write it down.