Friday, March 17, 2006

Mickelle, Full of Grace

So, evidently my wife wants no mention of sex and her in my blog, which is understandable, because people she knows might read it, and get the wrong idea. We have never actually consummated our marriage. Marley and Jack were conceived by the Holy Ghost and Marley was born while miraculously preserving Mickelle's hymen and virginity. All of the previous mentions of sex between Mickelle and me were merely my desperate posturings at attempting to be cool in the eyes of all the devotees of the Sect of the Phoenix. She remains as virginally pure as the day she was conceived--evidently immaculately.

I repeat, I have no carnal knowledge of Mickelle Fonnesbeck Williams and she has never engaged in such ghastly behavior as coitus with me or anyone else for that matter.

Mickelle ydy forwyn i mewn 'r chreuau chan Celi


Karie said...

You are a bad man with an incredibly wicked sense of humor. Sick, sick, sick.

JC said...

It's about time she knocked some sense into you. :)

paul said...

Mac, you do mention sex in your blog an inordinate (and uncomfortable) amount. I would have to agree with Mickelle on this one.

Yes, we know you have sex. We have all witnessed the product (soon to be products) of such. Can't we just leave it at that?

And don't think that writing it all out in Spanish makes it any more righteous, humorous, entertaining, or clandestine. Clever, perhaps. You're an intelligent, insightful, interesting guy... you don't have to impress us with our sex life or lack thereof.

Tell us about your gout... just don't show us any pictures.

Mac said...

Uncomfortable? My goodness, let's veil ourselves in some misguided Victorian sense of propriety instead of realizing that the first commandment given to Adam and Eve was to multiply and replenish the earth. Now I imagine that precious few would find me attractive in the sexual sense, but does my speaking about it really make you uncomfortable? And what determines what's inordinate? I am a lusty man and to not write about what moves and motivates me would not truly represent me. Paul, you practically sound like a Mormon.

If I can't show you pictures of my gout, shall I repost the vericocele ones?

paul said...

Perhaps I am a Mormon and just don't know it yet.

Inordinate... every other post sems to cover it.

Look, I understand that you enjoy sex. I GET IT. Who does not enjoy sex? However, I do not see you conducting conversations with people IN YOUR CHURCH, WITH YOUR PARENTS, OR AT TULANE about having sex or your wife's breasts.

In retrospect, this is your blog, not mine. I should be content with reading whatever it is you post here. I suppose that if you really must share these feelings, then we are the subjects of your inner dialogue.

I apologize for the previous cynical post. I just want a break from the sex talk from a while. That's why I haven't been reading your blog for the past 2 days.